Goodbye decade of my life.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
4:27pm
It's snowing so slowly.
I'm crying.
It's beautiful.
I'm hurting.
But it's beautiful.
It looks unreal.
I've never felt so fucked up.
It's so beautiful outside today.
I'm crying.
It's beautiful.
I'm hurting.
But it's beautiful.
It looks unreal.
I've never felt so fucked up.
It's so beautiful outside today.
The snow is healing me.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
8:32pm
Backstage behind the curtain there's an
There's an armchair with a secret engine and you
There's an armchair with a secret engine and you
You climb in and get naked watching Star Blazers
Wish you had their amenities
To fend off your enemies
In one big blast from your wave motion gun
And so you reach down to that secret panel and there's a
There's a whole raft of little buttons and you
You pick one and hope it takes you to Mars
Soon there'll be no pain again
You'll feel like yourself again
When you shoot all your heroin
In one big blast from your wave motion gun
And so downstairs behind the oven there's a
There's a dark hole where, where the gas comes in
You know you should, you should climb in
It'll get you there so much faster
Soon there'll be no pain again
You'll feel like yourself again
When you shoot all your heroin
In one big blast from
In one big shot
From your wave motion gun
Bicycle
You say black, I say white
You say bark, I say bite
You say shark, I say hey man,
Jaws was never my scene
And I don't like Star Wars
You say Rolls, I say Royce
You say God, give me a choice
You say Lord, I say Christ
I don't believe in Peter Pan,
Frankenstein or Superman
All I wanna do is
Bicycle bicycle bicycle
You say coke, I say caine
You say John, I say Wayne
Hot dog, I say cool it man
I don't wanna be the President of America
You say smile, I say cheese
Cartier, I say please
Income tax, I say Jesus
I don't wanna be a candidate
For Vietnam or Watergate
'Cause all I want to do is
Bicycle bicycle bicycle
You say bark, I say bite
You say shark, I say hey man,
Jaws was never my scene
And I don't like Star Wars
You say Rolls, I say Royce
You say God, give me a choice
You say Lord, I say Christ
I don't believe in Peter Pan,
Frankenstein or Superman
All I wanna do is
Bicycle bicycle bicycle
You say coke, I say caine
You say John, I say Wayne
Hot dog, I say cool it man
I don't wanna be the President of America
You say smile, I say cheese
Cartier, I say please
Income tax, I say Jesus
I don't wanna be a candidate
For Vietnam or Watergate
'Cause all I want to do is
Bicycle bicycle bicycle
Sunday, December 27, 2009
10:30pm
I've changed my mind so much I cant even trust it
My mind changed me so much I cant even trust myself
My mind changed me so much I cant even trust myself
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Beauty
"It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and, this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember, and I need to remember.
Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in."
-Ricky Fitts, American Beauty
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
9:53pm
If I'm laden at all
I'm laden with sadness
I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart
Isn't filled with the gladness
Of love for one another
9:15pm
'Dear diary, I'm afraid I'm gravely ill.
It is perhaps times like these that one reflects on things past. An article of clothing from when I was young. A green jacket. I walk with my father. A game we once played.
Pretend we're faeries. I'm a girl faerie. My name is Laura Lee. And you're a boy faerie. Your name is Tita Lee. Pretend, when we're faeries we fight each other, and I say
"Stop hitting me I'll die!" And you hit me again and I say,
"Now I have to die." And then you say,
"But I'll miss you." And I say,
"But I have to. And you'll have to wait a million years to see me again. And I'll be put in a box, and all I'll need is a tiny glass of water and lots of tiny pieces of pizza and the box will have wings like an airplane." And you'll ask,
"Where will it take you?"
"Home." I say. '
-Olive Cotard
-Olive Cotard
My Uncle
Nodding out, burning cigarette holes in his sheets
Wake up, eat a box of Captain Crunch then go back to sleep
Wake up, eat a box of Captain Crunch then go back to sleep
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Jar
In the amniotic fluid of primordial confusion
As research material for neuro-scientists
Cushioned in chaos, there I lay
Afraid that the jar would break one day."
–AJ Rao
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Fix ourselves
"That's 'cause we all wanna be problemless. To fix ourselves. We look for some magic solution to make us all better, but none of us really know what we're doing. And why is that so bad? That's all we humans can do. Guess. Try. Hope. But, Justin, just pray you don't fool yourself into thinking you've got the answer. Because that's bullshit. The trick is living without an answer. I think."
-Thumbsucker
-Thumbsucker
Friday, December 11, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Do you realize
Do you realize that you have the most beautiful face?
Do you realize we're floating in space?
Do you realize that happiness makes you cry?
Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die?
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die?
Saturday, December 5, 2009
3:17pm
- Today is the first Saturday all year that I've stayed home
- I have to finish a whole ISU in one day
- Weight loss is a feeble whore
- My hair is damaged and I think its time to go dark
- I should probably start working at some point
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Rag and bone
"Meg, look at this place."
"What? Whoo!"
"This place is like a mansion!
It's like a mansion!
Look at all this stuff!"
"I don't know."
"Look, I see something over there.
Man . . .
Well can't you hear we're selling rag and bone?
Bring out your junk and we'll give it a home
A broken trumpet or a telephone
Come on, come on, come on, come on and give it to me
Yeah
Come on, come on, come on, come on and give it to me
Rag and bone
I'll have your pretty
Your pretty little rags and bones
Well, man, look at all this.
You don't want it?"
"What is that?"
"You sure you don't want it?
If it's just things that you don't want, I can use 'em
Meg can use 'em.
We can do something with 'em.
We'll make something out of 'em.
Make some money out of 'em, at least.
Hey, if you ain't gonna use it, just give it to us.
We'll give it a home.
Well, have they got something shiny for me?
Anybody got a Christmas tree?
Can you part with a toilet seat?
A jump up, a jump up, a jump up, come on and give it to me
Rag and bone
We wanna get it, granny, while it's hot
You think it's trash, granny, but it's not
We'll be taking whatever you got
A give up, a give up, a give up, come on and give it to me
All of your pretty, your pretty little rags and bones."
"I saw some stuff in your yard, are you gonna give it to us?"
"Aww, Meg, don't be rude."
"Or not . . ."
"They might need it.
If you don't want it, we'll take it; if you don't want to give it to us, we keep walking by.
Keep going, we're not tired.
Got plenty of places to go, lots of homes we ain't been to yet.
West side, southwest side, middle-east, rich house, dog house, outhouse, old folks house, house for unwed mothers, halfway homes, catacombs, twilight zones.
Looking for techniques, turntables to gramophones.
So take a last lick of your ice cream cone.
And lock up what you still want to own.
But please be kind.
And don't rewind.
All of your pretty, your pretty little rags and bones.
Your pretty little rags and bones
Jump up, jump up, jump up, come on and give it to me
Oh, your pretty little rags and bones
Come on, come on, come on, come on and give it to us"
"What? Whoo!"
"This place is like a mansion!
It's like a mansion!
Look at all this stuff!"
"I don't know."
"Look, I see something over there.
Man . . .
Well can't you hear we're selling rag and bone?
Bring out your junk and we'll give it a home
A broken trumpet or a telephone
Come on, come on, come on, come on and give it to me
Yeah
Come on, come on, come on, come on and give it to me
Rag and bone
I'll have your pretty
Your pretty little rags and bones
Well, man, look at all this.
You don't want it?"
"What is that?"
"You sure you don't want it?
If it's just things that you don't want, I can use 'em
Meg can use 'em.
We can do something with 'em.
We'll make something out of 'em.
Make some money out of 'em, at least.
Hey, if you ain't gonna use it, just give it to us.
We'll give it a home.
Well, have they got something shiny for me?
Anybody got a Christmas tree?
Can you part with a toilet seat?
A jump up, a jump up, a jump up, come on and give it to me
Rag and bone
We wanna get it, granny, while it's hot
You think it's trash, granny, but it's not
We'll be taking whatever you got
A give up, a give up, a give up, come on and give it to me
All of your pretty, your pretty little rags and bones."
"I saw some stuff in your yard, are you gonna give it to us?"
"Aww, Meg, don't be rude."
"Or not . . ."
"They might need it.
If you don't want it, we'll take it; if you don't want to give it to us, we keep walking by.
Keep going, we're not tired.
Got plenty of places to go, lots of homes we ain't been to yet.
West side, southwest side, middle-east, rich house, dog house, outhouse, old folks house, house for unwed mothers, halfway homes, catacombs, twilight zones.
Looking for techniques, turntables to gramophones.
So take a last lick of your ice cream cone.
And lock up what you still want to own.
But please be kind.
And don't rewind.
All of your pretty, your pretty little rags and bones.
Your pretty little rags and bones
Jump up, jump up, jump up, come on and give it to me
Oh, your pretty little rags and bones
Come on, come on, come on, come on and give it to us"
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
2:25pm
"What can I do with my obsession
Sometimes You’re further than the moon
Sometimes You’re further than the moon
Sometimes You’re closer than my skin
And You surround me like a winter fog
You’ve come and burned me with a kiss
And my heart burns for you
You wrap around me like a winter coat
You come and free me like a bird"
For saliva
"You can speak a foreign language, sometimes,
and it can mean something. You can visit the marker on the grave
and it can mean something. You can visit the marker on the grave
where your father wept openly. You can't bring back the dead,
but you can have the words forgive and forget hold hands
as if they meant to spend a lifetime together. And you can be grateful
for makeup, the way it kisses your face, half spice, half amnesia, grateful
for Mozart, his many notes racing one another towards joy, for towels
sucking up the drops on your clean skin, and for deeper thirsts,
for passion fruit, for saliva."
-Barbara Ras
-Barbara Ras
12:35pm
"But you can skyrocket away from me,
and never come back if you find another galaxy
far from here with more room to fly.
Just leave me your stardust to remember you by."
Monday, November 30, 2009
8:48pm
You're beautiful with that look of inclusive apathy displayed on your face.
You make me want to cry.
I don’t know who to tell.
I don’t know who to tell.
7:19pm
Dallas Green has a staunch sense of humour. He stood alone on stage in the middle of a packed-to-the-gills room of all-agers, who had been squeezing forth and chattering about how Green had looked in their direction a couple times. He's been though this before - an audience too excitable for its own good, millions of flashbulbs going off as though we were standing in a thunderstorm. He knows what will happen. He knows that the crowd won't just shut up and listen. He knows they will sing along loudly (and badly) and try to talk over the music. And so, he discusses it. Frequently. On stage. He asks the audience to cool the screaming, just for a bit, that he's only one guy and he's pretty quiet. While certainly a light-hearted take, he nonetheless makes the point known, elaborating on fan oddness shortly by declaring that the audience members should shell out the five dollars for the opening band's CD (Machete Avenue). "I know you wave around those $5 bills like it ain't no thang," he drawls. "Well, I have nothing else to sign, can you sign this five dollar bill?" he pantomimes. He warmly thanks Machete Avenue for being on tour with him for three weeks, ignores a few scathing cries form the crowd to play certain songs, and then chimes up, while tuning guitar and in response to someone's insistent yells about "Save Your Scissors," "Did you just say something about Hitler?" Laughter form the crowd. A small smile from Green. "Shave your sister?" he continues. More laughter from the crowd.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
10:41am
In you and I there's a new land
Angel's in flight
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I
My sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah
Where fears and lies melt away
Music inside
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I
What's left of me what's left of me now
I watch you fast asleep
All I fear means nothing
In you and I there's a new land
Angels in flight
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I
My sanctuary my sanctuary yeah
Where fears and lies melt away
Music inside
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I
What's left of me what's left of me
snwod dna spu ynam os
My heart's a battleground
snoitome eurt deen I
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I
snoitome eurt deen I
You show me how to see
That nothing is whole and nothing is broken
In you and I there's a new land
Angel's in flight
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I
My sanctuary my sanctuary yeah
Where fears and lies melt away
Music inside
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I
What's left of me what's left of me now
My fears and lies
Melt away
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen
Angel's in flight
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I
My sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah
Where fears and lies melt away
Music inside
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I
What's left of me what's left of me now
I watch you fast asleep
All I fear means nothing
In you and I there's a new land
Angels in flight
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I
My sanctuary my sanctuary yeah
Where fears and lies melt away
Music inside
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I
What's left of me what's left of me
snwod dna spu ynam os
My heart's a battleground
snoitome eurt deen I
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I
snoitome eurt deen I
You show me how to see
That nothing is whole and nothing is broken
In you and I there's a new land
Angel's in flight
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I
My sanctuary my sanctuary yeah
Where fears and lies melt away
Music inside
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen I
What's left of me what's left of me now
My fears and lies
Melt away
wonk uoy naht noitceffa erom deen
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
8:01pm
I'm watching Naomi, full bloom
I hope that she will soon explode
I hope that she will soon explode
Into one billion tastes and tunes
One billion angels come and hold her down
They could hold her down until she cries
I'm tasting Naomi's perfume
It tastes like shit and I must say
She comes and goes most afternoons
One billion lovers wave and love her now
They could love her now and so could I
Monday, November 23, 2009
Want
I really dont know what to do.
What I do know is that I'm not doing this for myself anymore.
This is for you.
And maybe for them.
But not for me.
If anyone else were in this situation, I'd tell them to give up.
I wish I could listen to my own advice and feel right.
Will I do it? Will there be relief? Will I ruin it all?
I feel hypocritical. And I will not tell anyone.
What I do know is that I'm not doing this for myself anymore.
This is for you.
And maybe for them.
But not for me.
If anyone else were in this situation, I'd tell them to give up.
I wish I could listen to my own advice and feel right.
Will I do it? Will there be relief? Will I ruin it all?
I feel hypocritical. And I will not tell anyone.
4:50pm
My history ISU is about Dallas Green.
Now I get to spend the next 2 weeks staring
at his gorgeous mug.
Holy crap.
4:41pm
So, I've decided to continue posting
photos from some of my albums at home.
All of them are film.
I'll be trying to post one a day.
All of them are film.
I'll be trying to post one a day.
I hope you enjoy.
One
Monday, November 16, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Long Winter
This was taken by Jordan on vacation up north this summer.
It was everything I could have asked for and more.
This is here as a reminder of summer,
because winter is on its way;
and winter is always long.
9:20am
This is a picture of me when I was little.
Well, I guess its actually two photgraphs that were accidentally merged.
I love this picture.
"All these high school days, take that away."
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
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